Finland, zero poäng 08:02 on Wednesday
I’ve done my share of dissing myself — certain friends jokingly called me “the sunshine” at my worst moments… Anyway, I now have an excuse: apparently dissing comes with being Finnish. So how do I know, you ask?
Well. The story starts a year ago. Finland, the country with the longest streak of zeroes ever acquired in Eurovision Song Contest (ok, I made that up, but it can’t be far from the truth) wins Eurovision. Huge boost of national pride ensues, with appropriate official celebrations of all things Lordi. Next year a new representative, Hanna Pakarinen, is selected for the important job of representing Finland in the legendary competition show held on home land.
So what does proud Finland do a week before the competition? Starts to bash its own, of course! What a way to psych ourselves up to another great Eurovision weekend: first the big headlines say Hanna is too fat, next a half-full practice means the public has lost all interest in her, then we hear her lyrics are the stupidest thing ever written, and finally, she can’t speak English (this tabloid was accompanied by a rather non-flattering photo of her).
If you set yourself up for failure, you don’t have to be disappointed. Very Finnish.